Independent vs Self Sufficient

Big Difference.

“I’m independent, I don’t need a man, I can do it all by myself, Girl power!”

Oh please shut up with all that bull! Do you even believe the own bullshit that comes out of your mouth? Women are running all over the place screaming how independent they are and how they don’t need a man and whatever else rubbish they come out with. Someone tell me why it’s only single women singing this theme tune? Actually I’ll tell you why … it’s because women in long lasting successful relationships know the difference between being independent and being self sufficient.

To me, if you’re ‘independent’ you’re incapable of depending on another, for whatever. Financially, emotionally, socially … whatever. If you’re self sufficient that means you can get done what needs doing, should you have to.

Part of what makes a relationship work is the support you get from one another, the understanding, the guidance, the helping eachother grow – someone who is too concerned with trying to be super woman (or man) is closed to that,  and that makes the relationship suffer. You gotta be able to depend on the people you choose to spend you’re life with from time to time. 

It’s cool, go ‘head and be little miss independent while you’re tryna get your money up, or build your career or raise them babies by yourself… but if you’re looking for a man to build something meaningful n beautiful with? Then you’re gonna need to turn that independent switch down just a little to self sufficient. It’s ok to know you can do it all, but there’s nothing wrong with knowing you don’t have to.

For the record .. it’s a LOT easier to be independent than it is to be self sufficient, depending on people is HARD.


  1. serenityluv1 · January 8, 2012

    I was reading this post while I was with my guy! Keep in mind he is much older than me and he was like who wrote that…giggles! I was like why? He was like sounds like you wrote that…I told him nope , someone I follow! Now he thinks you the smartest chic! HEHE! He was like she said some real stuff there…**All smiles**

    • Kai Scribe · January 8, 2012

      loool Aww thank you both!!! I love that! And you’re definitely right, it’s that trail of thought that is keeping these females single… hopefully I can leave the singledom behind soon and join you loved up people!

  2. serenityluv1 · January 8, 2012

    You know what you are so right about the women who feel so Independent are Single. You know what and that’s why they remain that way! You just can’t have that attitude all the time. Like you said when you have to be that way then that’s fine but you shouldn’t have to when you have a man!

  3. Pingback: Top Post from some of my Best Bloggers! « Love, Life and Relationships
  4. AhmadKhalifa · January 16, 2012

    well it’s a human nature to depend on each other to get things done efficiently and faster, a little Independence might not hurt as well, but that shouldnt be the case, because humans need to feel the presence of their fellow humans beside them at all times 🙂 even at the times we feel we need to be alone 🙂

    • Kai Scribe · January 17, 2012

      You’re right, independence is not a problem in all areas of life and in fact it can be a positive thing … but if you’re trying to build something special and meaningful with someone then independence will get in ur way!

      thnx for stopping by dude x

      • AhmadKhalifa · January 17, 2012

        no problem at all 😀 am happy to stop by again and check out some more posts 🙂

  5. roxem · January 24, 2012

    Oy its like you’re writing my life story >_<
    I've always been independent…. "I can get shit done & take care of myself just fine.. I don't need anyone's help!! I'll show them I can do it all on my own!!"

    Aaaand I've always been single lol. I could do everything so well on my own, WHY have someone tagging along?? Longest relationship I've been in is like 6months I think… & I'm almost 30. I feel weird when a boyfriend buys me gifts or pays for my part of the date. It seriously makes me weirded out. That's how bad it is.

    3 years ago I came to the point in my life where I realized I'm finally ready to settle down with someone & start a family, and I can't find anyone! There's always men after me, but it never turns into anything serious. Maybe its BECAUSE I'm too independent?? It would make sense.

    So how the HELL do I stop being so independent?? I'm so conditioned to this life I don't even know what actions, thoughts, feelings, reactions, etc need to change.

    Maybe I'm destined to be single forever =(

    • Kai Scribe · January 25, 2012

      Aww hun!

      it’s so hard to stop being independent because it becomes a way of life and a thought process that just seems like first nature to us! Most women have been there and funnily enough it’s harder to allow yourself to depend on someone than it is to be do everything on your own.

      I think it’s something you have to condition yourself to follow because as much as I know independence is awful for the longevity of a relationship, I find it so hard to allow myself to ‘need’ anyone for anything … regardless of how big or small that thing may be!

      Don’t worry you’re not alone!

      • roxem · January 25, 2012

        I guess its something I’ll have to consciously start working on. Hopefully its an easy habit to break lol!

  6. roxem · January 24, 2012

    Also fyi – I linked this blog post in one of mine… …. I don’t know how to like tag you in it or what-not but I put your link in it.. I usually use my cell phone app to blog, not my computer so I don’t know how to do everything lol.

    • Kai Scribe · January 25, 2012

      AWWWW thank you hun! I’ll check it out! xx

  7. Pingback: miss independent « Roxem's Blog

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