Short background story: I’ve been with my sons dad, my dude for a little over a year. It’s been rocky to say the least (i’m sure you gathered that from my posts right?) but nonetheless I fell in love with him in a way I never knew I could … never expected to, never wanted to, never thought would happen. I’ve gone from never wanting to be in love with another guy, to not knowing how I lived without this one … perfect right? Yep, EXCEPT almost over night he went from sleeping beside me every night to living like 4000 odd miles away, or maybe just under.
I’m in London, UK and he .. he is in Wisconsin, USA.
So can long distance relationships really work?
I’ve never done it or even attempted it so I really wouldn’t know, what I do know is that I hope they can. I’ve even gone as far as to look at ways people made their long distance relationship work until I thought STOP … let it be what it will be and whatever it becomes is what it was meant to be.
It’s not really something I’ve discussed with people, I kind of shy away from the topic when I’m asked how it’s going or how I’m feeling … partially because I don’t want to be reminded every second of the day that the one person I want to spend my time with isn’t here, but also because I’m not sure myself how I feel about it. Just like any relationship, I have days where I don’t think it can work; I have days where I’m certain it should be over, that we should both just walk away before we hate each other. Then there are other days where I’m confident that distance means nothing when you love someone even half as much as we do … I don’t know what answers right or what answers wrong but I do know the only answer I can stick to is the one that involves us ending up meeting at the end of the alter.
Granted we’ll have to work at it a lot harder than we did before, we can’t take eachother for granted, I can’t just assume he’ll always be there and he can’t assume I always will be – what I can do is put everything into him and hope to get the same back. As long as we are honest with one another and can remember why we fell in love every single day then we’ll be fine. If I only ever feel as in love with him as I am now, then I’m in love with him enough to never need anyone else.
Roll on November, where I will be in Chicagooooo baaaaby! ha! I am shitting myself about seeing him for the first time but at the same time I’ve never been so excited about a trip in my entire life.
As we stand presently, this has to work because there is nobody else I can bare the thought of being with. There is nobody else I want to fight with, nobody else I want to cry or laugh with, nobody else I want to think I’m beautiful, nobody else I want to be proud of me, nobody else I want to share my failures and successes with and vice versa; nobody else I want any of the above from in return.