I started writing this some time ago and I guess it’s really real, really relevant, really necessary for me to finish it now… since I’m having a daughter. You see when she gets here I won’t be teaching her to expect to be treated like a Princess by any man other than her father, her uncles, her brother, her cousins and her grandfathers… Not because she won’t be a Princess in my eyes and certainly not because she won’t deserve to be treated like one; but simply because I don’t want to set her up for disappointment and hurt.
We live in a generation of mass confusion. So few think for themselves, so many are confused about not only who they are but who they want to be. Why? Because it’s become less about who we truly are and who we want to be and much more about what we think OTHER people want us to be. People are confused, and in short – confused people raise confused children with confused morals and beliefs. You have little boys being raised to conquer as many females as they can, parents laughing when they say they have 3 girlfriends at school and telling boys you don’t settle down with the first woman you have feelings for. Yet little girls are being brought up believing they are princesses and they shouldn’t be with any man who isn’t going to treat them as such…
WHY on earth would I raise my daughter to believe she is a princess when I know full well there a very few young boys that are being taught the essence and beauty of being a Prince? That’s like me blindfolding her and telling her to cross the road – she may NOT get hit, she may well make it to the other side safely and unhurt but the chances of that happening due to me not truly preparing her for the situation she would soon be faced with, make the chances of that really quite slim.
This isn’t to say that she will go through life thinking she’s bog standard, average and accepting bullshit treatment; it just means shes prepared and able to understand that people aren’t going to automatically treat you like a queen, a princess; and you have to bring more to the table than your own sense of entitlement.
She’ll always be a princess in my eyes; but isn’t every little girl to their parents? The world is only a playground when you know how to play x
… Because he can.
Chances are that even though you knew that was the answer, you came here on your long winded journey for some deep list that would put your mind at ease and reassure you that it will change and he will learn to appreciate you and he loves you and blah blah blah and not to forget the things that if you could only manage to change would improve everything…
Right or right?
Yeah well all of that is bullshit. Whilst there may be other reasons as to why he started treating you like shit…the reason he CONTINUES to treat you like shit is because he can. He gets away with it, he’s gotten away with it for so long that it has almost become learned behaviour and once that behaviour has been learned it doesn’t get unlearned. At least I’ve never seen it get unlearned. Does that mean he will treat other women as badly as he treats you? No. Will he talk to them with as much disrespect as he talks to you with? No not necessarily! Why? Because his learned behaviours are not going to be the same across the board. If he has learned that the other women in his life, before or after you are not going to tolerate his bullshit and there is no room in their relationship for the disrespect then one of two things is going to happen…either she’s going to kick him out of her life or he is going to come correct.
In my humble opinion…if the disrespect has just begun; nip that shit in the bud. Maybe he’s still testing the waters to see how much he can actually get away with and if that’s the case then you have time to get him to come correct, let him know you’re not having it and if he’s not going to come correct he’s got to come out your life. However if it’s been an ongoing thing, going on for quite some time; that shit ain’t changing. You have two options. You can keep kidding yourself that he will get it one day and he’s getting better bit by bit or you can keep it pushing, leave him to be someone elses problem and be with someone who is actually going to treat you how you deserve to be treated.
The choice is honestly yours.
There is one lesson that will be a life changing lesson if you can learn it… sooner than later at that! The sooner this lesson can be learned, the less tears, the less pain, the less money spent, the less time wasted. I swear to you.
So what’s the lesson?
Know when to tap the fuck out!
If you don’t know when to tap out in life, you will endure so much bull shit that you needn’t have. This relates to every aspect of your life, not any one area specifically; but everything and that’s what makes it so important. Knowing when to tap out is not the same as quitting. People are so terrified of being considered a quitter that they end up attaching themselves to toxic situations and confusing that for some sort of loyalty.
The first mistake you can make is keeping something that is negative in your life, something that doesn’t add any value to your life and thinking that you are allowing that negativity to remain in place because you are loyal. It’s not loyalty. Complacency? Yes. Weakness? Yes. Stupidity? Yes. Comfort? Yes. But loyalty it is not. Loyalty requires such strong footing because it requires you to stand up for or next to something even when it is easier to walk away from that something. And what you are doing is quite the opposite, you’re keeping something in your life because staying and keeping it around feels easier than walking away.
The key to happiness is so fucking simple that it gets overlooked. I’m guilty of not taking my own advice but here it is. If something doesn’t make you happy, if something doesn’t add any value to your life, if something feels like a negative dark black cloud that just rains on your parade and never lets the sun shine through… tap the fuck out. Let it go. Kiss it goodbye, grieve it’s loss if you need to and keep it pushing because you will never get back the time you wasted on bullshit.
Know when something is a waste of time, and learn how to separate that from the things that are investments. Don’t be scared to crack out the pen and paper and work that shit out, but be honest with yourself and be fair to yourself…if it’s not, accept the fact and be on to the next!
I just sat here for the last 2 hours and read through as many of my old blogs as I could…shit how funny is it that you can revisit situations that you were once so passionate about and feel absolutely nothing? No pain…no happiness…nothing. Just dead like you were reading something totally unrelated yourself. Shit’s crazy!
Anyway I decided to go through my blog and delete all the things that I felt were no longer my story to tell. My son is a person, everything that relates to him that came before him became his became some time ago and I feel disappointed in myself that I never realised that there were people in the world who would take that information and use it to his detriment. I don’t even think people mean to do it, I mean most people wouldn’t want to negatively impact an innocent child but nevertheless it’s still done. Honestly I didn’t realise people gave a shit about my life, about things I post, about my personal affairs; but I guess there are some sad nobodies who must lead extremely pathetic lives to care about mine!
It doesn’t hurt me that people talk about my situation. Let’s be real, I put it up on here for the world to see and I don’t regret it because I know my pain was therapeutic for a lot of people including myself. When I say therapeutic I don’t mean they took pleasure in my pain, I just mean a lot of people found comfort in not being alone with their pain and I find comfort in that!
Either way, I decided to take things people could use against my son and my family down. The problem is people read this shit and think they know me, they talk about my situations with such confidence that it’s almost creepy!
So if it was you…then this was all done in your honour… you happy? x
Apparently some sad low life that reads my blog has told my partner I have recently posted up extremely personal information…
please feel free to leave your number in the comments so I can call you and if not why don’t you suck your mum and jump off a bridge?