Cost vs Worth

Cost and worth are two very different things… in every aspect of life. Generally this relates to business where the cost of a product or service tends to exceed its worth. For example, you pay £60 for a pair of shoes that cost £10 to make. Or better yet, when you want tickets to an event and all the tickets are sold out but you manage to find someone who is selling theirs and they are charging you three times the amount the paid for them? Yeah they may have cost £100 but they are now worth £300.

But I do find that this can actually be related to the dating world pretty well..

How?

Well it’s pretty simple really. Your WORTH is what you deserve…but your COST is what you accept.

What do I mean?

Well you might deserve a man to treat you like a princess, you might deserve a man to throw rose petals at your feet, you might deserve an honest, loyal, hard working man who will be a great provider for your family and make you feel special every day. Yet here you are with a man who treats you like a toy, picks you up and puts you on the shelf when he’s bored, entertains other women behind your back and generally treats you as if you could never expect to do any better than him…

So whilst your worth may be through the roof, it didn’t cost all that to get you, it’s not costing all that to keep you so your cost and your worth don’t match.

It sounds so simple and in theory, in the early stages it is that black and white but all it takes is for you to stay a moment too long in the presence of a man/woman that doesn’t truly see your worth and before you know it your worth is reduced to match your cost. I say that because what we are worth is whatever we truly feel we are worth. When you stay with someone who treats you like you’re nothing and doesn’t appreciate you, you begin to believe them. Once you accept a diminished sense of self worth and you allow your worth to lower to your cost, leaving becomes even more difficult because to leave you have to not only realise that you are worth more than what you are receiving, but better yet you have to believe it.

In short…sit down by yourself, and really understand your worth, know what you want for yourself, understand you can have that and believe it. And then, look at what you have…if the two don’t match, maybe you can work out the shortfall but if the short fall is simply a piss take then you know exactly what it is you have to do!

:)

The Easiest Way To Lose Your Woman…

A woman who is in love with a man is probably one of the most loyal creatures on the planet, and I mean really loves him, not the idea of him, loves him for who he is as well as who he isn’t.

A woman who loves a man will make exceptions for things that she may hate, she will defend him to others regardless of whether he is right or wrong, she will love him even when it shows a lack of love for herself…A woman who loves a man is not an easy woman to get rid of, not an easy woman to lose, even though there may be times that man has crushed her, broken her heart, betrayed her and let her down/ If a woman really loves a man, she is likely to stay at times she should have left, not because she’s a fool, not because she’s stupid, but because she loves more than who that man shows her he is; she loves who she knows he could really be if he committed to the idea.

So the easiest way to lose her?

The easiest way to lose her is to realise too late that if you don’t elevate your woman, if you don’t lift her up, if you don’t make her feel beautiful, if you don’t repay the million things she does for you out of wanting to with some sort of emotional mental gratitude, then she becomes accessible to anyone else she feels will treat her better. Her heart might not be accessible, her body might not be accessible…but her mind? Her mind will always be the first thing to go. Once her mind is gone, once her mind has woken up, her heart won’t be far behind it and when her heart wakes up? …

She’s gone.

The Biggest Mistake You Can Ever Make In Love…

In my honest opinion, the biggest mistake anyone can ever make when it comes to love isn’t what people might say are the obvious things. The obvious things being things like falling in love with the bad boy, or with the player, or falling in love too quickly, etc… yeah I get why those things are critical mistakes when it comes to the affairs of the heart, but there’s something even more deadly than that and it’s something I’m guilty of.

The biggest mistake you can ever make in love, is falling in love with potential.

I’ve briefly touched on how deeply I fall for potential before but someone who has known me for near enough 7 years reminded me of the fact the other day and I haven’t been able to shake it’s relevance to my life.

It’s no secret that I fall in love with potential, I fall in love with how incredible I perceive someones mind to be by the sheer innocence of their words. I fall in love with their passion to exceed everything that they have been taught is their limit. I fall in love with their ability to make me, someone who is confident and secure with my own potential, nervous and humbled. I fall in love when my inner being connects with another inner being and I fall in love with knowing that someone could be a game changer in the world if they only knew it enough to apply their efforts to the right things. I fall in love with who I know you can be long before you are aware of exactly who and what that is.

But how do you know they will become the things you expect of them?” – people ask…

The answer is I don’t and that’s exactly why I fall in love with their potential to be those things, rather than the end product that has already become those things. Falling in love with their potential means that my soul, my heart, my mind, knows truly how great one could potentially be and it is that person that keeps me captivated.

Why is this so dangerous?

Because most likely you fell in love on a deeper level than emotional…most likely you fell in love on a mental level. You fell in love with the way their mind works, the genius behind their words, the passion in the way they speak… most likely you fell in love with things that if you were right about their potential, will develop and blossom as they do.

What does that mean?

It means that time, doesn’t necessarily drive you apart as it does when you only have an emotional connection. When you fell in love with someones potential, the closer they get to the person you knew they could always be, the stronger your connection will get and whilst in some cases that works in your favour, situations permitting… in most it doesn’t. And so you are left with feelings just as strong, if not stronger than you once had, the only difference being that whilst time has driven your lives apart, it hasn’t driven your minds, hearts and soul apart and now you’re stuck. You’re stuck between wanting the person you campaigned for in your mind for so long,to waltz back into your life and pick up where they left off, whether it be friendship or more; and being overwhelmed by old feelings that leave you feeling head over heels in something that doesn’t make sense to the logical mind, because how can you still feel this way after so long?

I’ll tell you how you can feel that way after so long…

When you fall in love with potential… your feelings will always go on hold until the next time. The next time is the deal breaker. If that person is still full of the potential you saw, or has become exactly what you suspected they would; then your feelings are most likely going to pick up where they left off and in full force. However if that persons potential has wilted and succumbed to the expectations of ‘society’ then you’re most likely going to experience the opposite… disappointment.

If you can’t fall in love with the person they are right now before you, then now isn’t the time.

I’m done falling in love with potential on a romantic level.

Much too risky for next to no reward.

Don’t lose something good for something new …

Originally posted on Kai Scribe:

I just don’t get people sometimes, I really don’t.

Why is it we can have something good, something brilliant in fact and yet still allow comfortableness to make us complacent enough to forget how amazing this thing is, even making us prepared to swap it for something mediocre just because it’s NEW?

That goes for a lot of things in life but I’m talking about relationships – nothing new huh? – lol, I talk about what I know so you won’t find stocks and finances round here! Just sayin’!

Anyway lets talk about my friend for example, I won’t say his name but his stupid ass knows I’m talking bout him! So my friend had a girl that was perfect for him. She didn’t sweat him, didn’t get onto him bout coming home or staying out late, she cooked, always looked 100, was nearly finished training to be a paedatrician, she…

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Social Media is the Devil… Straight UP

What happened to being able to break up with someone and then never having to see them again… unless the universe was cruel enough to make you bump into them on the high road with no make up on, socks, sandals and pizza stained tracksuit bottoms. I miss that shit.

What happened to hearing through the grapevine from your girls, cousins, best friend that your ex had a new girlfriend and then playing guess who over 10 glasses of wine about what she looks like, knowing that if they didn’t say much then she was either level playing field with your or even an upgrade… Yeah we’ve all had to do that.

Friend: So what does she look like then?
Me: Who?
Friend: What do you mean who? Marks new girlfriend obviously..
Me: Ah, nothing special. Just normal.

Yeah we’ve all done it. I miss that. Not needed any more.. Two clicks on the stupid ass smart phone and we know what she looks like, where she works, who her ex was, her star sign and what she had for dinner every night of last week.

What happened to giving a boy your number and then talking to him on the phone for a week, working out if you ACTUALLY like him for who he is and what he has to say on an intellectual basis before you even decide to see him again? Or the mystery that surrounds whether or not he was really as cute as you thought or if you had actually had 10 shots too many that night? Or being able to actually believe you were the only woman he’s talking to at that moment in time and being a little bit ignorant to the fact that there were a gang of other girls fighting for the same spot you wanted… Yeah none of that stands anymore cause within the first 5 text messages after a boy has taken your number, he will have asked for your Instagram name and then there you go “follow” … now you can both see exactly what’s what from the beginning. You can see how many other females want that spot, you can see what he has for breakfast, you know where he was all day, what he was doing, you’ve seen the inside of his car before he’s even taken you out…

I hate this shit!

Honestly I do.

I feel like my dream situation is to keep things a little bit old school. Maybe I’m part of the problem cause I’m not sure I’m totally ready to part with my Instagram and my Facebook and all of those things but I feel like if I ever did the whole dating someone new thing all over again, I’d want to do it properly. I’d want to do it how it’s supposed to be done.

Everything comes too easy now. It’s too easy to know someone for who they want to be and that makes it more difficult to find out who they really are. I mean lets face it, Social Media is all about who you want to be for the majority and obviously that’s the case, who is gonna put themselves out there and showcase what they’re not happy with? Social Media is about showing people the traits you think are important, the things you think make you special, effectively they take away from someone being able to really get to know you in the right way and stop them from deciding what they think is special and amazing about you…because you’ve already decided.

I love Social Media for all the wonderful things that it has to offer. Easy to stay in touch with family, fantastic way to see the world because you get to see it through so many peoples eyes for the first time, amazing to watch growth in people that otherwise you would never have gotten to witness… yeah the list goes on, there are amazing things about social media. It even creates relationships that would never have happened without it’s assistance. Mine included I guess.

However, as much as it has given… I hate how much it has taken away.