Panic Room

My Panic Room… that’s exactly what this blog is to me. Every time things aren’t going right in my life and my emotions are all over the place THIS is always the first place I run to.

I wonder why that is …

Actually, I know exactly why that is. There’s nobody to please here.

I can write what I want, about who I want, and be candid and brutal about how I feel and though I may not have gotten my message to the intended person; it’s still off my shoulders. Never under estimate the relief of removing dead weight from your thoughts. We all carry dead weight around in our minds at some stage, that is unavoidable in my eyes… what we must learn to do is free ourselves from our own mental torture, by learning where our release is. Your release is whatever you need to do in order to take the bull shit that really has no business ruining every day of your life, and dumping it from your trail of thoughts. Some people sing, others meditate … I write.

It’s gone 2 am in the morning and I know my son will be up bright and early in the morning so i really should be asleep too… unfortunately i just don’t have time to ‘release’ tonight. Maybe I’ll find time tomorrow. Hell, I need to find time tomorrow, i’m making myself sick with this shit.


Night guys xx

GUM Clothing …

So one of the projects I’ve been working on silently is GUM clothing.

I love my clothes. I love every aspect of fashion design. I love taking fabric and creating something beautiful out of it; I appreciate the real effort and skill that goes into creating the most simple of garments, things we throw on every day without so much as another thought. I look at what’s on the market at the moment, and know without a shadow of a doubt that what  I have to bring to the table will fill a gap.

It will take some time before I can actually start putting the products I want out there; but I have plans and strategies in place to make it happen…

I thought I’d try something different however, in the form of indiegogo… it’s a crowd fundraising site and hey I have nothing to lose at this point. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t … I’ve lost nothing because this is all in addition to my plans!

Anyway if you could check out the link below and share it if possible that’d be great



Is Unhappiness a State of Mind?

Being emotionally drained is something else entirely.. the recharge only comes when you realise unhappiness is a state of mind; understand that it requires a little selfishness to take the time required to nurture your own state of mind back to a point at which it is capable of creating it’s own happiness as opposed to seeking it from an outside source. Just a thought.♥

^^ I just wrote this for my facebook status… Sunday afternoon, so many issues in my life I don’t dare count them all; often sticking my head in the sand because although I know the problems will still be there when I surface… just for a moment, a lovely beautiful peaceful moment… my problems are non-existent.

I guess I feel stuck at times. Stuck in my own unhappiness and it feels like a curse because although I strongly believe unhappiness is a state of mind and I am a firm believe in mind over matter, I’m also aware that the mind is extremely powerful; just like all powerful things… if you do not know how to use it properly, it can be dangerous. In this sense I mean dangerous as in, if you can’t work out how to get out of your own pit of unhappiness; the mind will tie rocks to your feet, make the walls 100ft tall and put oil on your hands. In other words it will keep you there.

Now, if only I could learn how to use the power of my mind to take situations that feel as though they physically hurt my heart, and make them simple cases of mind over matter…

Another lesson for another day…

I HATE… Uneducated Advice!!

I cannot tolerate people who offer ‘uneducated‘ advice. Unsolicited advice is one thing, yes it can be annoying; but sometimes you need to hear shit you didn’t necessarily want to hear.. example: I guide my little cousins on stupid shit they may have done or want to do, simply because I’ve done it and therefore know how that situations going to end. Was my advice unsolicited? YES, because they didn’t ask for it. However was it uneducated? NO, I’ve lived it, I’ve learnt from it, I know what I’m talking about.

Do not offer me advice about some shit you know nothing about. Do not waste my time, do not waste your breath, do not ruin our friendship/relationship .. because I’m not gonna take it.

Single bitches, always complaining about how they hate being single and how they can’t find a good man.. but have advice for me about my relationship?

People happily unhappy in their relationships, wanna guide me on what’s missing in mine? MISS ME WITH THAT!

Broke, financially unstable people who are too busy talking about their dreams, to actually be chasing them, trying to tell me what is required to be successful in business and finances? MISS ME WITH THATTTTTTT!!


Rant mode over; but moral of the story, if you haven’t lived it.. .shut the fuck up!


Bitch … Where’s Your Book?!!!

“Bitch Wheres your book!!!?” was the exact text message I received a few hours ago from one of my closest friends…

The shit startled me. Like completely startled me because I never expected to hear it. Simply because life happens and people get so caught up in their own shit that anything outside of their lives becomes a non-existent part of their world… I’m guilty of that too, I hold my hands up. It’s so easy to become so wrapped up in your own lifelong journey that you become disconnected from anyone who doesn’t happen to be on that journey with you. For me it isn’t intentional, not at all … but it happens.

Well in short, my book is super paused. I wrote it, I read it, I edited it, I read it, I edited it, I read it, I edited it, I read it and then in the middle of editing it for the millionth time, life hit me in the face and said “BITCH YOU ARE A SINGLE MOTHER, WITH A BRIGHT LITTLE BOY THAT DESERVES THE WORLD AND MORE; DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO PROVIDE HIM WITH EVERYTHING HE DESERVES … AND SOME” … and that voice made me put down the pen and paper, it made me appreciate and realise that writing books is really a privilege that is awarded t0 those who have time on their side… time and money.

Financially I’m not in a position where I have ‘free time’ per say because any time that isn’t spent earning money, or looking after my child; is spent on my business. I’ve put everything into this business, and in order to do that I’ve had to take time away from other areas in my life regardless of how much I enjoy them. I barely go out, I save every penny I can because I’d rather not seek investment elsewhere at this moment in time, I don’t have time to blog as much as my state of mind recommends I should and most unfortunately for me … I haven’t had time to finish my book. But it’s all good because when my business has taken off and is financially looking after me as well as I need it to.. that book will be the first thing I do.


P.S Oh and please don’t be bright and come on here talking about no JK Rowling … she was on benefits sitting in a cafe every day writing about god damn wizards. YES the shit is genius, but she was lucky as fuck because if that HADN’T worked; she would have been at home, with no job, no money and no future and just a billion books about a crazy little wizard!!!!!!!

“When writing the story of your life…do not let anyone else hold the pen” – it’s that simple! x