What a Generation …

My cousin asked me today why relationships don’t seem to last long anymore… she asked if it’s because we tolerate less bullshit than women did previously or if it’s because there is more bullshit to tolerate. Honestly, I think it’s an unhealthy combination of both. 

I won’t even say our parents, I’ll say our grandparents because my age group is full of broken homes, single mothers and absent fathers; it was more our parents parents generation that this applies to. Our grandparents came from a time where divorce wasn’t an option. You didn’t walk away from a relationship because it had problems, you didn’t say to hell with it because it was hard; you worked on it. That obviously comes with it’s pros and cons, I would never expect someone to stay in an abusive relationship whether it be physical or mental but because of the era, that was the norm. Your husband cheated? You stayed. Your husband had another family? You stayed. That was just what was normal. 

Things aren’t like that any more. What is considered normal has changed because what we value is different. 

We’ve evolved from a time where family, respect and hard work was what was of value, and have ended up at a place where people will literally sell their souls for likes and followers. As if relationships weren’t hard enough before right? … 

Now women take pride in being the ‘side chick’, they don’t feel the shame that is associated with entertaining an involved man, in fact now they think they are in a better position than the woman who believes she is his only woman.

Now the other woman knows your childs name, what you look like, what your bed sheets look like and she hasn’t even been in your house, you don’t even know she exists but this smart phone generation means she can learn every inch of your life without your consent.

Now the other woman isn’t just a concern when he’s at the office or out with the boys, the other woman is swooning over his pictures and hitting him up on instagram direct after liking pictures he’s posted of the two of you together.

Everything is so accessible now. Everyone is so accessible and where once upon a time you knew your man wasn’t entertaining anyone else as long as he was home… now? Now that isn’t the case. 

In short…

Relationships are lasting less time than an app these days, because people are loyal to things, people are loyal to a supposed image, normal people have fan bases for nothing more than the image they portray on social media; and very few people really remember the value of respecting and loving the rarity of a family unit. 

xx 

Cause Kids Love GUM.

City Kids Never Sleep Leopard Print

So, I wonder if everyone could do me a massive favour and share this blog post. I’m trying to raise £1,000 to invest in my project; to help me take my childrens clothing line to the next step. At the moment all that is standing in the way of where we are now, and where we could be … is this project. I need to raise £1,000 and an investor I have will contribute the remaining £1,000….

Cause Kids Love GUM Kickstarter Funding Page

This project is so important to me because it is something I started when I felt lost. I felt like I could see a million different roads ahead of me, around me, behind me; but I had no idea whichone to take. I was 23 with a new born baby, no man, no stability, I was alone and I was scared. I have a huge family and everyone was great, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t alone. Ultimately, it was just me and my baby. My job wasn’t as secure as I thought, childcare costs were through the roof and I just didn’t know what to do. There was no help, no guidance, people automatically assume because you’re a single mother it was YOU that fucked up. Wasn’t the case for me, at all. Maybe my mistake was being naive in falling for the bullshit. Regardless of that, I decided I would start my own business, a business that could one day give birth to a charity that would help single mothers who felt stuck, help them re find their identities and become confident role models for their children.

 

So GUM is more than a clothing line for me, it’s an opportunity to change lives.

If you could spread the word I’d truly appreciate it!

Thank you! xx

 

You’re Doing Too Much … Way Too Much

The title says it all. I say this myself at least 5 times a day, EVERY single day… We’re in a generation where everyone is just doing too much; and no not in a good way.

Doing too much as in everyone is a model, an entrepreneur, a comedian, a socialite, a blogger, a chef, a promoter, a musician, a fashion designer; need I continue?

Seriously people are confusing doing the most for the least and it’s irritating. I blame it on social media completely. It started with Myspace way back in the day, evolved with Facebook and then spun all types of out of control thanks to the likes of Instagram and Twitter. Social Media has created this new world almost, where it’s more important to look as though you’re doing amazing, than it is to actually be doing amazing. It’s crazy to me. You got people blowing their pay checks, to BUY things to POST on instagram…. NO SERIOUSLY I READ THIS THE OTHER DAY. A girl said she took out a loan so that she could buy things to make herself look how she wanted to for Instagram. Yes you heard correct. She should have her picture taken and whenever someone says “Doing too much” her face should appear because she is doing the most!

I’m gonna keep this short but what I will say is, people can tell when you’re doing too much because it’s unnatural. Be who you are, be what you are and accept that because everything additional is unnecessary.

Just … Saying … !

Is It Possible to Blacklist Your Past?

So long story short, I had an awful experience in my last relationship. Met and fell for the biggest player I have ever encountered in my life, had a whirlwind romance, fell for a lot of bull shit, got pregnant, got abandoned, had my son, got messed around for the best part of  a year; then emotionally detached myself from the situation.

Pain and suffering over right?

WRONG.

My past somehow crept it’s way through all the barriers I had up and managed to get into a place in my present and it’s gotten itself in such a good position that I can’t seem to get it out. I see everything he did to me in every tiny little situation. I have a man who promises me every single day that he would never jeopardise what we have for anything or anyone and more importantly than what he tells me, he shows me that. He changed his life for me and my son, I’m close to his family, they love me and he’s close to mine and equally they love him. Picturing my life without him kills me and yet somehow I push him away and punish him a little every day for the actions of a man who did nothing but hurt me.

How did I let this happen?

I want nothing more than to wake up one day and decide that my past no longer has a place in my present, but I just can’t seem to make it happen and it is so unhealthy for any relationship. Why should he have to justify things and prove himself because of the pain someone else caused? How is it fair that I question every little thing and scrutinise his every movement because the last one disrespected me even while he lay next to me in bed?

If there’s a way to black list my past I need to find it because nobody should be punished for what they are ‘capable’ of, isn’t that the same as guilty until proven innocent?

 

Cheating … Is either party truly excused?

Funny that this subject should come up, when I’m finally in a relationship with a man who treats me with respect fit for a queen, but it did and it really made me think.

So here’s the scoop. My guy is genuinely the life and soul of his social circle, he’s very respected locally, very well known, bubbly, outgoing and has banter for days; so naturally females flock to wherever he is with compliments and fluttering eyelashes. Shit is funny to me … most of the time. Not because I have a false sense of security but because I truly believe he knows what he has here (our family) isn’t something he ever wants to lose and he KNOWS that if I ever found out he had been less than loyal to me, I’d be out like a light in a squat. I’ve put up with too much bullshit in past relationships to even consider putting up with anyone who is untrustworthy.

Anyway so recently a female threw herself at him, partially his fault because he was maybe a little too friendly for my liking; so she took that and ran with it. Ran with it all the way onto my damn nerves, then rented a hotel on my nerves and threw a fucking party on them. You get how irritated I was?

Well I decided that I wasn’t letting this one slide, I let a lot of shit slide and this wasn’t about to slide on out like it was nothing. Mainly because I felt disrespected. This girl had seen pictures plastered all over social media sites of our family unit, had liked pictures of me, had liked pictures of our family and then this is what killed me… had liked pictures of my son. How you gonna like pictures of my family unit with one hand, and then with the other hand try and tear that shit apart?

Nah I’m not gonna go for it!

So I messaged her and basically let her know that bitch I see you!

She hit me back with some generic shit about how why was I coming at her when I should be coming at him.

I’ll be real, she had me for a minute.

And then that minute was gone and I remembered what my real issue was. I remembered what my real issue was and I gave that shit to her straight, no chaser. I said

Don’t worry about him, I’ll handle that. But you. Woman to woman, or woman to little girl; however you want to receive it. I get it, you have no loyalty to me; why should you? If a married man wants to wine you and dine you and then crawl on back to his family, well then that’s his wifes problem right? Wrong. It’s your problem. Because all you’re doing is reiterating that you aren’t SHIT. Let me tell you this, the only woman that eats off another womans plate is a woman with no means to get a plate of her own.

And I hit send, and I ain’t heard back from that bitch since. All of this truly made me think. We for some reason seem to relinquish people from the responsibility of the trauma caused when they engage in extra marital relations. I say extra marital and I mean all things outside of your relationship, doesn’t have to be marriage. But I don’t understand why we do that. We hear all the time, that if your man cheats or strays, then don’t ever come after the woman; only ever come after him. Well I stick as many middle fingers as I can find up to that sentiment because it’s nonsense. When a woman knows that a man has a woman, a wife, a girlfriend, a family or whatever and she continues to pursue him; she cosigns on the blame. I’m sorry. I don’t care if that bitch don’t know me, she knew OF me and to me that too is disrespectful.

So I reiterate… if a woman (or man) KNOWINGLY pursues a man who has a family, a girlfriend, a wife or whatever, WHEN his stupid ass gets caught out, she cannot plead the fucking fifth. SHE too should be read completely because she too disrespected the fuck outta you.

And that …

Is all ! xx