What Kind of Fairytale Is This…?

Little girls all over the world are being raised as princesses, being taught they should never allow anyone to treat them as though they were less than that, and whilst that should seem like such a beautiful thing, the harsh reality is … I feel accidentally it has become the opposite.

Why?

Because we’re teaching our young boys the exact opposite.

Collectively by the thoughtless things we say to our boys, the behaviour we encourage, the values we DON’T encourage as much as we should and the things we expose them to, we teach our boys how to be the very men we tell our daughters they should be avoiding. It’s accepted that boys WILL have multiple girls to entertain, we tell boys they’re too young to settle down, go out and live, we call good looking little boys ‘heartbreakers’ without realising that the only hearts they will be breaking are those of our daughters. We actively encourage our young boys to treat women in ways we tell our daughters they are too special to ever accept.

I guess my point is, in order for it to be a beautiful thing that we are raising our daughters to never forget they are princesses, and to demand and expect to be treated like that at all times… we need to raise our sons to be the Princes our daughters are expecting to meet…

Other wise …. What kind of fairytale is this?

What a Generation …

My cousin asked me today why relationships don’t seem to last long anymore… she asked if it’s because we tolerate less bullshit than women did previously or if it’s because there is more bullshit to tolerate. Honestly, I think it’s an unhealthy combination of both. 

I won’t even say our parents, I’ll say our grandparents because my age group is full of broken homes, single mothers and absent fathers; it was more our parents parents generation that this applies to. Our grandparents came from a time where divorce wasn’t an option. You didn’t walk away from a relationship because it had problems, you didn’t say to hell with it because it was hard; you worked on it. That obviously comes with it’s pros and cons, I would never expect someone to stay in an abusive relationship whether it be physical or mental but because of the era, that was the norm. Your husband cheated? You stayed. Your husband had another family? You stayed. That was just what was normal. 

Things aren’t like that any more. What is considered normal has changed because what we value is different. 

We’ve evolved from a time where family, respect and hard work was what was of value, and have ended up at a place where people will literally sell their souls for likes and followers. As if relationships weren’t hard enough before right? … 

Now women take pride in being the ‘side chick’, they don’t feel the shame that is associated with entertaining an involved man, in fact now they think they are in a better position than the woman who believes she is his only woman.

Now the other woman knows your childs name, what you look like, what your bed sheets look like and she hasn’t even been in your house, you don’t even know she exists but this smart phone generation means she can learn every inch of your life without your consent.

Now the other woman isn’t just a concern when he’s at the office or out with the boys, the other woman is swooning over his pictures and hitting him up on instagram direct after liking pictures he’s posted of the two of you together.

Everything is so accessible now. Everyone is so accessible and where once upon a time you knew your man wasn’t entertaining anyone else as long as he was home… now? Now that isn’t the case. 

In short…

Relationships are lasting less time than an app these days, because people are loyal to things, people are loyal to a supposed image, normal people have fan bases for nothing more than the image they portray on social media; and very few people really remember the value of respecting and loving the rarity of a family unit. 

xx 

Cause Kids Love GUM.

City Kids Never Sleep Leopard Print

So, I wonder if everyone could do me a massive favour and share this blog post. I’m trying to raise £1,000 to invest in my project; to help me take my childrens clothing line to the next step. At the moment all that is standing in the way of where we are now, and where we could be … is this project. I need to raise £1,000 and an investor I have will contribute the remaining £1,000….

Cause Kids Love GUM Kickstarter Funding Page

This project is so important to me because it is something I started when I felt lost. I felt like I could see a million different roads ahead of me, around me, behind me; but I had no idea whichone to take. I was 23 with a new born baby, no man, no stability, I was alone and I was scared. I have a huge family and everyone was great, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t alone. Ultimately, it was just me and my baby. My job wasn’t as secure as I thought, childcare costs were through the roof and I just didn’t know what to do. There was no help, no guidance, people automatically assume because you’re a single mother it was YOU that fucked up. Wasn’t the case for me, at all. Maybe my mistake was being naive in falling for the bullshit. Regardless of that, I decided I would start my own business, a business that could one day give birth to a charity that would help single mothers who felt stuck, help them re find their identities and become confident role models for their children.

 

So GUM is more than a clothing line for me, it’s an opportunity to change lives.

If you could spread the word I’d truly appreciate it!

Thank you! xx

 

You’re Doing Too Much … Way Too Much

The title says it all. I say this myself at least 5 times a day, EVERY single day… We’re in a generation where everyone is just doing too much; and no not in a good way.

Doing too much as in everyone is a model, an entrepreneur, a comedian, a socialite, a blogger, a chef, a promoter, a musician, a fashion designer; need I continue?

Seriously people are confusing doing the most for the least and it’s irritating. I blame it on social media completely. It started with Myspace way back in the day, evolved with Facebook and then spun all types of out of control thanks to the likes of Instagram and Twitter. Social Media has created this new world almost, where it’s more important to look as though you’re doing amazing, than it is to actually be doing amazing. It’s crazy to me. You got people blowing their pay checks, to BUY things to POST on instagram…. NO SERIOUSLY I READ THIS THE OTHER DAY. A girl said she took out a loan so that she could buy things to make herself look how she wanted to for Instagram. Yes you heard correct. She should have her picture taken and whenever someone says “Doing too much” her face should appear because she is doing the most!

I’m gonna keep this short but what I will say is, people can tell when you’re doing too much because it’s unnatural. Be who you are, be what you are and accept that because everything additional is unnecessary.

Just … Saying … !

Is It Possible to Blacklist Your Past?

So long story short, I had an awful experience in my last relationship. Met and fell for the biggest player I have ever encountered in my life, had a whirlwind romance, fell for a lot of bull shit, got pregnant, got abandoned, had my son, got messed around for the best part of  a year; then emotionally detached myself from the situation.

Pain and suffering over right?

WRONG.

My past somehow crept it’s way through all the barriers I had up and managed to get into a place in my present and it’s gotten itself in such a good position that I can’t seem to get it out. I see everything he did to me in every tiny little situation. I have a man who promises me every single day that he would never jeopardise what we have for anything or anyone and more importantly than what he tells me, he shows me that. He changed his life for me and my son, I’m close to his family, they love me and he’s close to mine and equally they love him. Picturing my life without him kills me and yet somehow I push him away and punish him a little every day for the actions of a man who did nothing but hurt me.

How did I let this happen?

I want nothing more than to wake up one day and decide that my past no longer has a place in my present, but I just can’t seem to make it happen and it is so unhealthy for any relationship. Why should he have to justify things and prove himself because of the pain someone else caused? How is it fair that I question every little thing and scrutinise his every movement because the last one disrespected me even while he lay next to me in bed?

If there’s a way to black list my past I need to find it because nobody should be punished for what they are ‘capable’ of, isn’t that the same as guilty until proven innocent?